my daughter's impending marriage
Call it the impact of urban living or the side effects of cable and internet (though she is not yet much exposed to internet), my four year old daughter is learning things fast!!!
Scene : 1 A few months back
That day while I was gone to pick her up from her bus stop, I saw a fun induced amused smile on the attendant’s face from the window of the bus and that was directed at me. As the bus halted and she brought her down from the bus, she said ‘Ab ap Jiya ki shadi kara do’ (Now do get Jiya married). Now her affection for Jiya is quite evident from the way she takes care of her while she is in the bus, so I did not take any offence, but intensified my questioning looks so as to know further details.
This time my less than four year old daughter (the age count refers to when that incident happened) said ‘Mummy maine soch liya hai main Lakshya ya aryamaan se shadi karungi’ (Mummy I have decided that I will marry either Lakshya or Aryamaan). Now it was my turn to be amused. But before that I had to control the situation for her sake before the guards at the gate, driver and other passers by. So, I knelt down to her height and said ‘ beta ap abhi in sab baton ke liye chote ho, jab bade ho jaoge tab is bare main bat karenge’(beta you are too young for this talk, we will discuss it when you grow older) but…but…but my small bundle of surprises replied ‘nahin main ab badi ho gayi hun aur ab main boyfriend rakh sakti hun’ ( sorry no translation this time…that will take away the fun and innocence of it)
My mind immediately got into its ‘adrenaline’ mode and I decided to face and fight the situation rather than the flight mode, and I remember telling her that ‘yes ap bade ho gaye ho, and all boys in your class and bus are your friends, lekin shadi ke liye abhi ap chote ho.’ I don’t remember precisely what else I told her but it was to the effect that first you have to grow up and learn things to take care of yourself before you marry, and that is what happened with your mummy papa, and this is what happens with everybody else.
I think I must have done a fairly good job, because now whenever she raises this topic she starts with ‘jab main badi ho jaungi…..’
Scene: 2 A few days back
While sitting on the potty, doing her potty she started ‘mummy jab main badi ho jaungi aur maeri shadi hogi, to mujhe apko chodkar jana hoga kya?’ (Mummy once I get married on growing up, will I have to leave you?).
I was on the verge of saying that right now you don’t even wash your potty by yourself and need your mummy to do that, so stop worrying about the future. But checked myself in time and replied instead ‘ yes beta once you get married you leave your mummy papa and live on your own and that is why it is necessary to learn how to take care of yourself first, right now don’t worry about that, that will happen after a long long time’
Not being one to leave a conversation unfinished, she now said ‘Mujhe abhi se hi soch kar rona aa raha hai ki main apko chod kar chali jaungi.’
Now what do you say in reply to such a sweet thing coming out of a four year plus!!!!
Scene : 1 A few months back
That day while I was gone to pick her up from her bus stop, I saw a fun induced amused smile on the attendant’s face from the window of the bus and that was directed at me. As the bus halted and she brought her down from the bus, she said ‘Ab ap Jiya ki shadi kara do’ (Now do get Jiya married). Now her affection for Jiya is quite evident from the way she takes care of her while she is in the bus, so I did not take any offence, but intensified my questioning looks so as to know further details.
This time my less than four year old daughter (the age count refers to when that incident happened) said ‘Mummy maine soch liya hai main Lakshya ya aryamaan se shadi karungi’ (Mummy I have decided that I will marry either Lakshya or Aryamaan). Now it was my turn to be amused. But before that I had to control the situation for her sake before the guards at the gate, driver and other passers by. So, I knelt down to her height and said ‘ beta ap abhi in sab baton ke liye chote ho, jab bade ho jaoge tab is bare main bat karenge’(beta you are too young for this talk, we will discuss it when you grow older) but…but…but my small bundle of surprises replied ‘nahin main ab badi ho gayi hun aur ab main boyfriend rakh sakti hun’ ( sorry no translation this time…that will take away the fun and innocence of it)
My mind immediately got into its ‘adrenaline’ mode and I decided to face and fight the situation rather than the flight mode, and I remember telling her that ‘yes ap bade ho gaye ho, and all boys in your class and bus are your friends, lekin shadi ke liye abhi ap chote ho.’ I don’t remember precisely what else I told her but it was to the effect that first you have to grow up and learn things to take care of yourself before you marry, and that is what happened with your mummy papa, and this is what happens with everybody else.
I think I must have done a fairly good job, because now whenever she raises this topic she starts with ‘jab main badi ho jaungi…..’
Scene: 2 A few days back
While sitting on the potty, doing her potty she started ‘mummy jab main badi ho jaungi aur maeri shadi hogi, to mujhe apko chodkar jana hoga kya?’ (Mummy once I get married on growing up, will I have to leave you?).
I was on the verge of saying that right now you don’t even wash your potty by yourself and need your mummy to do that, so stop worrying about the future. But checked myself in time and replied instead ‘ yes beta once you get married you leave your mummy papa and live on your own and that is why it is necessary to learn how to take care of yourself first, right now don’t worry about that, that will happen after a long long time’
Not being one to leave a conversation unfinished, she now said ‘Mujhe abhi se hi soch kar rona aa raha hai ki main apko chod kar chali jaungi.’
Now what do you say in reply to such a sweet thing coming out of a four year plus!!!!
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