Don't worry dear, the government is here!
I chanced upon the following prose in the newspaper few days back. I found it so contemporary, so amusing and so worth elaborating that I decided to share it right away. But so many days passed and my inertia of doing nothing….well….made me do….nothing!
Now, here it goes!
If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street;
If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat;
If you get too cold I’ll tax the heat;
If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet;
Taxman! Cos I’m the taxman, yeah I’m the taxman
(Taxman, lyrics by George Harrison)
So, contemporary! And so Indian government like!
Believe me, whenever you put your hands in your pocket to fish out your wallet to pay for something, another invisible hand goes in there too, to claim its share!
Go to a restaurant to fill your belly, pay your bill for the food you ate, for the ambience and service you enjoyed and…. there is service tax. And please don’t forget to pay for the tip, else you will be construed a miser.
Go to watch a movie, shell out ridiculous amounts for the popcorn and the coke and did you know even if the movie failed to entertain your senses, you paid a hefty entertainment tax too.
Going to the market to buy you a few essentials, good! Keep the spirit glowing and the money to the exchequer in the form of VAT flowing.
But how will you go to this restaurant, movie or the market?
You need a vehicle first!
Good!
Please pay the road tax.
And if you belong to this ever mobile, nomad category of professionals, all the more better, because each state will ask for its individual share of the road tax.
But wait a minute! You are confused, where are the roads?
Oh! Come on!
These Indian automobile companies make such sturdy vehicles for some reason after all. Don’t you want a chance to test the efficiency of their R&D.
And if there happens to be some good roads, rest assured, a toll tax bridge will not be far away!
And there is one more assurance.
The roads might wither. The rains and the traffic may make the highways and overbridges to do a disappearing act, but this toll tax bridge and the toll are here to stay.
After all some things in life at least should be permanent.
Do a business, or do a job,
play a lottery, or go to the KBC
where the seat is very hot,
but don’t forget to pay the share,
to the government
for providing such excellent security
and unfaltering law and order.
what! You don’t want to pay them?
Ok! Sit at home! No one will stop you from doing that.
What! You don’t have a home either!
No problem!
For what else do they make these pavements for!
Please feel free to make any of them your cozy home.
But remember, if there happens to be some event,
like the CWG recently,
when a lot of other country guests are expected,
like a herd you will be transported to some oblivion.
Of course you can come back later!
Once they are gone.
But till then,
You are cause for a shame
And you must hide!
Oh! You are thirsty?
No problem!
Shell out fifteen rupees per bottle
And the water is yours!
Oh! So you want to poo and pee?
I knew it!
After all
You had something in your stomach
And you were not hungry!
No problem!
There are these Suvidha shauchalayas
Where for only rupees two you can poo
And for one you can pee!
Oh! So you are sick?
And you want a doctor and a hospital?
I knew it!
Yes! I knew it!!!!
After all
You still have a desire to live
It means you were happy!
Now, here it goes!
If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street;
If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat;
If you get too cold I’ll tax the heat;
If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet;
Taxman! Cos I’m the taxman, yeah I’m the taxman
(Taxman, lyrics by George Harrison)
So, contemporary! And so Indian government like!
Believe me, whenever you put your hands in your pocket to fish out your wallet to pay for something, another invisible hand goes in there too, to claim its share!
Go to a restaurant to fill your belly, pay your bill for the food you ate, for the ambience and service you enjoyed and…. there is service tax. And please don’t forget to pay for the tip, else you will be construed a miser.
Go to watch a movie, shell out ridiculous amounts for the popcorn and the coke and did you know even if the movie failed to entertain your senses, you paid a hefty entertainment tax too.
Going to the market to buy you a few essentials, good! Keep the spirit glowing and the money to the exchequer in the form of VAT flowing.
But how will you go to this restaurant, movie or the market?
You need a vehicle first!
Good!
Please pay the road tax.
And if you belong to this ever mobile, nomad category of professionals, all the more better, because each state will ask for its individual share of the road tax.
But wait a minute! You are confused, where are the roads?
Oh! Come on!
These Indian automobile companies make such sturdy vehicles for some reason after all. Don’t you want a chance to test the efficiency of their R&D.
And if there happens to be some good roads, rest assured, a toll tax bridge will not be far away!
And there is one more assurance.
The roads might wither. The rains and the traffic may make the highways and overbridges to do a disappearing act, but this toll tax bridge and the toll are here to stay.
After all some things in life at least should be permanent.
Do a business, or do a job,
play a lottery, or go to the KBC
where the seat is very hot,
but don’t forget to pay the share,
to the government
for providing such excellent security
and unfaltering law and order.
what! You don’t want to pay them?
Ok! Sit at home! No one will stop you from doing that.
What! You don’t have a home either!
No problem!
For what else do they make these pavements for!
Please feel free to make any of them your cozy home.
But remember, if there happens to be some event,
like the CWG recently,
when a lot of other country guests are expected,
like a herd you will be transported to some oblivion.
Of course you can come back later!
Once they are gone.
But till then,
You are cause for a shame
And you must hide!
Oh! You are thirsty?
No problem!
Shell out fifteen rupees per bottle
And the water is yours!
Oh! So you want to poo and pee?
I knew it!
After all
You had something in your stomach
And you were not hungry!
No problem!
There are these Suvidha shauchalayas
Where for only rupees two you can poo
And for one you can pee!
Oh! So you are sick?
And you want a doctor and a hospital?
I knew it!
Yes! I knew it!!!!
After all
You still have a desire to live
It means you were happy!
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