Malai Kofta, Shahi Paneer and Navratan Korma Syndrome

Let me explain my culinary background to you first.

I come from a family for whom going out to a dinner means- going to a 'hotel' to eat north indian (read punjabi cuisine) food, and that too malai kofta, shahi paneer and navratan korma with naan ( of late my parents have demoted themselves to tandoori roti for health reasons). For us variation meant, trying different varieties of naans like stuffed naan, kashmiri naan, etc, and if someone at the table is desperate then may be even some other variety of paneer. We looked at the menu only to know about things other than the main course like starters or soups or desserts.

Now, when i said family, i meant my parents, my two younger brothers and of course me and the scenario I describe is around ten years back, i.e before I was married.

After ten years, if I try to analyse the eating habits of my family members individually, then-

I am not sure about Ankur (my elder brother). Given the hungry, moody, foodie he is, he says no to everything that borders non healthy food trying to eat only non fried healthy stuff but invariably ends up doing just the opposite.

My younger brother Ankit, well, whenever we went out with him, we tried introducing him to different cuisines, be it chinese or thai or kashmiri or lebanese or continental.....you get the drift. Initially he used to agree after much reluctance, then his displeasure became more and more evident, but we continued in our noble pursuits. Then on one specific occassion, he agreed to go with us but on one condition that we would go to a food court. Reaching there he disappeared even before we could discuss the options, to be found only a few minutes later holding a north indian platter comprising you know what!!!!! That day we realised the emotional and dietary atyachar we were committing on him and finally retreated.

Till today, despite our nominal subtle efforts, chinese to him means manchurian and chowmien and eating something different which he can enjoy starts from pizza (having generous toppings of paneer if possible) and ends at burger.

My parents- very recently we tried to try a similar experiment on them but admitted defeat even before trying. They won't eat anything containing garlic, or coconut milk, or mushroom or...... with great difficulty we prepared them to go for pasta. My parents ate with feigned interest but when the bill came, their patience gave way. 'when you will come to dinner with us in agra, we will treat you to such good food at a fraction of this cost. In big cities they do nothing but jeb kat-te hain.' Then they named a few restaurants whose 'naan' is so good!! So, little Italy and we failed to impress them.

Now, coming from such a family, you can easily interpret my inclinations towards food. But as luck and destiny goes, Ankur (my husband) hates paneer or anything made with paneer. So, when paneer pakode, paneer chila, paneer parantha are relished at my home, he would not even touch them, and would rather prefer to have his bowl of cornflakes after trying a few morsels. He loves experimenting with different cuisines, would always look for new and different restaurants to try out, and in that too, would always try dishes with new and wierdly sounding names.

Fortunately for him, after marriage, I discovered a newer foodie side of me, who too did not mind to join him in his culinary experiments. But sometimes I used to miss my earlier favourite fare, but like a good obedient wife (!) i am I never complained and that too for full nine years. During this time our daughter joined us, who too loves to eat out and does not mind trying new tastes.

Then one day, i don't remember what compelled me, but i put my foot down! I laid out the rule that from now on once in a while, we will eat as per my likings also. As a compromise we agreed to delete navratan korma from the list and ordered malai kofta and shahi paneer.

How i was hoping to enjoy and relish my new found sense of assertion.But i was surprised to find that I was not enjoying, and consequently, my favourite cuisine  tasted tasteless to me.

As the food was served, Jiya started to sulk. She did not like the food. Ankur was eating silently, the ususal chitter-chatter was absent. At that precise moment , i realised a few things. Things which are relevant for my life too.

1.  It is not the cuisine or the food that we enjoy. It is the company that makes a meal relishable. For a family what counts more than anything else is being together.
   
2. Never postpone or sacrifice your preferences for the sake of your family. Otherwise in the process of growing up, their own choices will grow so much away from yours that a time will come when you will be forced to choose one and abandon the other, a midway will become impractical.
3. Never ever pack up your choices, dreams, priorities and preferences with the hope of unpacking them and working on them later 'when the time is right', or 'some other time'. For it is quite possible that 'that' suitable time will never come. And it is also quite possible for you and others to forget about the existence of that package. And even if that suitable time do comes, and you are able to dust off that package, it is quite probable that you have lost interest in the contentes of that package.
   They might even make you wonder that why were they your choices even.
   Just like it happened with me in the case of the malai kofta and shahi paneer.

This phenomenon of losing interest in your once favourite things due to the various effects of ones family is what I call 'the malai kofta and navratan korma syndrome'.

For me, i have stopped insisting on eating north indian punjabi cuisine with my husband and daughter. But whenever i go to firozabad, I make it a point to tuck myself in with such delicacies to my stomach and hearts content.